J’oublie / Oblivion

A lover alone and yearning, her bed empty and cold, a night filled with sorrow: this is what Ondinata has in common with J’oublie (Oblivion), Astor Piazzolla’s tango nuevo performed by KAYAH & Gang Tango.

Days are busy and distracting. At night, however, everything comes to a stand-still. Darkness, stillness, and silence brutally bring her face to face with the truth, only to distort and amplify it later. She can hear every whisper. Her thoughts spin out of control. She can’t fall asleep. Kept awake by the despair of separation and by phantom pains she can no longer dream. After so many sleepless nights, constant exhaustion induces insomnia.

This night-time tango with Ondine can be dreadful at times. The bedroom becomes an intensive care unit, with the alarm going off every quarter of an hour because the sleeping child has become disconnected from the ventilator, the blood oxygen saturation monitor has slipped off her finger, or the tracheotomy tube has clogged up…

Nights, especially ones spent in the shadow of a disease, are a time of chilling loneliness. The daytime brings help, support, and kind words. It seems to smile at you. But the disease is insidious and laughs in your face when everyone else is asleep.

Night, night all around
The city sleeps
But I stay awake…